A rose by another name

Roses are an important part of Mitt Romney's essence. His modus operandi is extremely sub rosa - he keeps his money hidden in foreign countries to avoid paying taxes, he wiped out his Massachusetts records when he left the Governor's mansion, and his business records are sealed to avoid embarrassments. And, like many moneyed people, he probably believes his excreta smell of roses.

So I was not completely surprised by this sweet anecdote in his acceptance speech: "Mom and Dad were married 64 years. And if you wondered what their secret was, you could have asked the local florist – because every day Dad gave Mom a rose, which he put on her bedside table. That's how she found out what happened on the day my father died – she went looking for him because that morning, there was no rose."

A touching story, which merits further analysis. 

Cost:

A daily single rose dosage ('rosage') over sixty four years runs to 23,360 roses (not counting birthdays, Valentine's days and other parties and celebrations). That's a lot of roses. At today's prices, this 'rosage' would run between $70,000 - $120,000 (assuming average to top quality roses - after all, one would not go to all this trouble to get cheap roses). We knew, of course, the Romneys were wealthy. At least, unlike Mitt, George Romney earned his money from real engineering, not financial engineering.

Persistence:

Another fascinating aspect is the persistence. The ritual beats Cal Ripken's record by decades. Have George Romney and his wife stayed home throughout their 64-year marriage? Considering George Romney was an auto executive, and a presidential candidate (despite his birth in Mexico, where his parents lived to avoid US anti-polygamy laws), one might guess not every day of his life was spent home. And it is hard to believe his wife never took a trip, visited her parents or siblings, or just spent a night on the town with friends.

In other words, like most GOP convention speeches, there probably is some liberty with the facts here. And not to repeat this behavior, let's be clear that Mitt's grandparents have not practiced polygamy, only chose to live in a polygamist Mormon colony.

Process:

Then there is the procurement and delivery. Did George Romney drive to the florist every daybreak to pick his wife's rose? Did the butler do it? Was the daily flower delivered by the florist?

Where was Mrs. Romney while Mr. Romney was putting the flower on the bedside table? Powdering her nose? Sleeping? Did she ever intercept the rose before it made it to the night table?

Did Mitt really follow his parents around for 64 years, to check on the roses?

The Discovery:

I just can't wrap my head around that part of the story. How likely is it that a missing rose act as the only clue to one's partner death? Did no one check on Mr. Romney when he failed to show up for breakfast or drive to the florist?

How far from a spouse does one have to live for that to happen? In a different bedroom? A separate house? Distant cities? Another planet?

Didn't anyone tell poor Mrs. Romney her husband had died? She had to infer it from the missing rose? What quality of help did the Romneys have around the house?

Face Validity:

I do not know Mitt's parents, but having lived together for over six decades, they must have shared a lot of good, loving times. Still, I doubt is the veracity of the story, which appears taken from the plot of a Hallmark movie. Seems to me that the speech writers fibbed a little. To paraphrase Charles Barkley, Mitt Romney was misquoted.

Then again, this is nothing compared to other speakers, like Marco Rubio, whose parents fled from Cuba to Florida to escape Castro several years before the communists rise to powe.